Tuesday, February 14, 2023

That Hotel Window


Love is wonderful, but it can turn for the worse.

Cupid seems to be drenched in joy shooting arrows to intertwine hearts. The new semester greeted me with couples left and right. One's hand over the other, another has one on someone's shoulder. The Campus' hall was drowned in festive energy. Boots that varied designs from one another. Lovely might I say. Yet I couldn't help but imagine me being in those situations if things went differently that time. I dated someone. Someone familiar yet foreign. She would sometimes sit, sometimes running. This single day made me remember that heinous and chaotic 2 months. It was between October and November of 2022, when my family decided to have a staycation at a hotel as a post-celebration of my birthday and the celebration of my mother's birthday. Just 3 days apart. Such a day of  celebration was accompanied with a sour memory. 


That night, I stare into a plane filled with plain planes that come and go. The cold coffee watches nearby, new yet old specs mirror each sigh.







x

1, 2, 3 I count the parked cars,

 But they couldn't outnumber my film of scars,

A moon, no stars,

Maybe they're just far,

11th floor but I still feel under,

Under the weather, roars of a weeping lover,

Everything goes back to dull,

Anything that comes next will be null,

A porcelain doll with a tear on a cheek,

Stained tear will be called unique,

Your sadness will be art, 

Love will no longer include your heart,

Restless it will be, what's in it for me, 

Nothing is seismic anymore, 

Nor look forward to what's in store, 

Here at this hotel Infront of the airport,

I wonder if it was worth putting any effort, 

On anything, 

on anyone at any time. 

Makes me want to commit a crime,

Fool we were to want to climb.

Climb a wall too tall,

it's getting cold, I think I need a coat

I can't seem to jump out of this boat, that is sinking. 

What was I thinking?

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